My baby is 1! And some pictures...finally :)

A year ago today I was standing over the crib rocking back and forth trying to get through a contraction.  I had JUST sent my husband an hour earlier to make a Pinewood Derby car with his friends 35 minutes away.  I, of course, told him I thought it may have been another false alarm.  Turns out it wasn't!  He tried to rush back home and we passed cars left and right trying to get to the hospital.  In the back of my mind I was still worried he had Down Syndrome, still worried about not being able to get an epidural this time, still worried something might go wrong.  That WHOLE pregnancy was different in a lot of ways. 
But he was born 3.5 hours after I started my "false" labor.  He was huge!  Well, huge to me!  8.8 lbs.  I saw him and rejoiced because I FINALLY got my red head!  He had fiery red hair, that turned to blonde about a month later.  I'm ok with that, he's a cute blonde with bright blue eyes :)  He was the best newborn we had in the hospital with us.  He slept 4 hours at a time without even making a peep.  He rarely cried unless I wasn't quick enough to get food to his mouth, which is still true today haha.  This kid loves his food! 
He has turned out to be pretty laid back, which has been really nice.  He only really cries when he's sick, tired, teething, or wants more food.  He falls down a lot and just jumps back up.  He's walking with the attempt of running when his sisters are running circles around him.  He loves to laugh at his sisters when they do silly things.  He loves to entertain at the dinner table.  He is starting to take part in conversations when everyone else is talking or laughing.  He loves grandpa, that is the understatement of the year.  As soon as grandpa walks through the door he rushes over to him.  He snuggles when he wants to, it's my favorite :)  He is an awesome sleeper (after months of not being one).  He will even wake up and just play in his crib instead of crying (even in the middle of the night, he is his own best companion. He talks to himself almost every night around 2 AM).  He is the chubbiest, cutest little man around.  I can see he has the true nature of a boy though.  I can see ER visits in our future.  He's not afraid to go over the edges of things, or attempt to climb even the most unsteady slopes.  He's also my little music man!  Almost the instant he hears music (or even beat boxing from Uncle Spencer) he starts dancing.  He loves the piano too.  We love our little man!  Happy First Birthday Levi! 

Happy little baby

 Crabby costume for Halloween

 Getting adjusted to binging on Halloween candy :)

 He's not allowed to climb on that door anymore for fear of it breaking

 Cousin time :)

 He looks like he's kneeling up, but in fact, his legs are so chubby that he can't kneel down any lower haha.  Makes me happy!

 Christmas lights

 Polar Bear for Christmas

 "What's wrong with this sweater?"

 My sister has a picture like this with each of my kids in these PJ's.  I'll put all 3 pics up next to each other some day

 Someone has started taking after his Uncle Russell.  Our own personal garbage disposal

 Uncle Spencer before he takes off to Germany!  They are good buds

 He sat there for a LONG time like that in the snow.  He didn't budge, no tears, no happiness, not reaction haha.

 Our own cookie monster

 How many back rolls can you count?  Makes me so happy!!

 HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!  We celebrated last week before Tyler left for Montana.  He thoroughly enjoyed his cupcake.  My aunt made that bib for him, it was so cute!!

 His first truck! 

Best description of him right now :)  I hope this video works! 

Here are some other pics from recent months

 Emerie has always been that kid who falls asleep in random ways.  She threw a fit because I told her she had to finish her sandwich to get more Cheetos.  As you can see, she finished her sandwich then fell asleep like this while she was waiting for Cheetos.

 Emerie's face in this one is the epitome of Thanksgiving Day. 

 They are becoming good buddies

 Helping mom tie a quilt

 Lyndi loves and misses Aunt Alyssa! 

 Ready for Christmas!

 Lyndi's birthday party which Aunt Alyssa willingly participated in :)

 Emerie got into my makeup.  I'm impressed with her eyeliner abilities.

 Again, she fell asleep while throwing a fit by my feet.

 The annual pretzel dipping party

 Ice skating!

 Sledding!

 Snow party!

 He makes a cute girl sometimes too :)

 She wanted to make her Story Time valentine for her sister

 This little man is so tolerant of anything and everything Emerie throws at him.  She does stuff like this and he takes it like a little man.  He gets dragged, pushed over or carried everywhere.

 Emerie passing time while dad is at the dentist.

 My heart :)

Motherhood and Facebook

If there's one thing I've learned over the last 6 years, it's that I'm an addict. To FaceBook.  I have been weaning myself from it these last 6 months, but everyone once in a while, I fall off the wagon and binge.  I can't help it; indulging myself in everyone else's lives.  Except my own.  That is the main reason I have been trying to wean myself from it. I'm trying to be more grateful for the life I have, not the life others have.

I have been noticing more and more that I get so worked up about stupid little things, or big things that I normally wouldn't know about if it weren't for social media.  I found myself here and there more interested in other's lives than my own, and more importantly, my family's.  IT'S RIDICULOUS.  And I know I'm not the only one out there with this problem.  And I also know I'm not the only mother who feels this ridiculous unnecessary, unintended pressure not to post anything that might POSSIBLY lead people to think I'm not perfect.  IT'S RIDICULOUS. I have mocked myself for thinking this way, but it's hard not to. 

I am not perfect.  I'm not a perfect daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, wife, friend, niece, granddaughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and most of all mother.  Did I leave any relations out?  :)  As one of the mothers involved in social media, we see things all the time, moms claiming that their way is the only way, or to be a know it all after being a mother for 1 week, or posting pictures of OTHER peoples kids being concerned for OTHER people's children because the child is, heaven forbid, wearing a coat in their car-seat, and, heaven forbid, buckled with the latch 2" too low on their chest as if it is the WORST thing in the world. Truly. The worst thing?  When did it become our jobs to critique all the other moms in the world?  I recently removed myself from a mommy page on Facebook because of this.  I went absolutely crazy seeing posts of this sort every other day.  I would not like to be judged like that, and I know NOONE else would either, so why do we do it?  Because of social media.  Because of Facebook.  We have so much access to other people's lives, it's hard to see something and not say something.  I feel like we've been trained that the phrase "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" is old-fashioned and has now transitioned to the other extreme of "Say everything, even if it's harsh, rude, inconsiderate, ignorant" etc.  I myself am guilty of this from time to time. 

In today's world, it isn't a wonder why so many moms are stressed out.  I read an article about moms 100 years ago having much less stress with 10 kids than moms today with 1 or 2 kids.  Being compared to hundreds of friends on Facebook or Instagram isn't easy.  (Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE it when people post cute pictures of their kids or amazing things that they are doing with their lives, or new hairstyles, etc. I totally love it, and I do the same to help keep in touch with 90% of my family.) BUT, comparing my imperfect self to everyone else was making me crazy.  There was no reason at all for it. That's why I'm pulling back.  I am tired of feeling like I can't be myself and post crap like this haha. :) I am tired of feeling like if I post a picture I have to study the picture and make sure no one can find any fault with it. I am tired of feeling like I have to be perfect.  Here are some of my real imperfections as a mother:

I LOVE my kids, and yet I struggle to be happy every moment with them.
I love having babies, yet sometimes I would be happy to skip the first year, I struggle with the first year more so than the terrible 2's and even more terrible 3's. 
I love spending time with my kids, yet feel so much relief and even joy some days that it's bedtime.
I love having clean, nice smelling kids.  I don't love changing poopy diapers, wiping noses, or bathtime.
I wake up some mornings ready for the day, and a lot of days I wake up and wonder if I can handle another day. Especially without my husband here to back me up and help out.  (PS, the count is down to 93 days, 93 days until he is done and back home with us)
I love the euphoria of having a newborn, but hated being pregnant and am still suffering lots of pain from my 3rd pregnancy.  Yes, he's almost 1.
I get genuinely mad in the middle of the night sometimes when the kids are awake. AGAIN. Tired is my biggest personality trait right now.
I like to feed my kids healthy food.  A lot of days I cave to Emerie's constant "Can I have a snack?" Which usually results in her eating junk food, and I am ok with that sometimes, as long as she doesn't ask me again for the 198th time that day.  That girl loves to eat all day.  My 11.5 month old snuck 4 cookies off the table right after breakfast this morning, and I took pictures and laughed instead of taking the cookies away.
I like to go outside with my kids, but some days I won't because it is just too much work.
I love it when I find my kids are like me, then get super irritated about things that I do that I'm seeing them do.  Yes, I'm a hypocrite.
I get mad at my kids in public.  I am not that mom that will put up with stuff just because we're out and about.
I love to have the house to myself when my husband takes the kids to the park or something. I love it.

I do a lot of other things that I'm sure other mothers would not approve of.  And I'm increasingly fine with that.  I'm learning to be comfortable in my own shoes.  Because we are not done having kids.  No that's not a pregnancy announcement.  I've just learned along the way that it's easier than trying to be comfortable in other people's shoes. My rant is not made to make other moms feel guilty about things they're doing on social media.  My rant is to acknowledge the fact that people aren't perfect, especially moms. Take it easy out there. Love your OWN life, like I'm learning to love mine.

Greensburg updates

Tada!  I was kind of over the beaming orange glaring at my eyeballs whenever I looked at my blog haha.  Hopefully this is a little easier on everyone's eyes too!  Our family's new territory is littered with dead opossums, deer, raccoons and smells like skunks, dead or alive. After seeing one in its dead state, I decided I would never ever ever like to encounter an opossum while it's still alive. Holy scary animals!  My mom lives on the outskirts of town, so most of the roads I take are quiet and heavily wooded with LOTS of wildlife. 

Lyndi began kindergarten August 31st. I still can't believe it is time for one of my kids to be in school! The kindergarten teachers hosted a Popsicle party a few days before they began so they could look through the school and meet the teachers and classmates. I have been so worried about Lyndi making new friends because she gets so attached and kind of closed off sometimes that I didn't know how she would do in a completely new setting.  However, she found another little girl within a few minutes that is tall with brown hair just like her and their lockers are right next to each other! They walked around holding hands :) after her hour with the other kids she called Mia her best friend!  She told me a few weeks ago that people get mad whenever she doesn't play with them.  Such a hard life to be popular :)  I love this girl.  She is our sweetheart.  She has the biggest heart and the most thoughtful mind.  She is in the top 5 kids in her class for academics, and I get the chance to go in once a week to help out in her class, it's so fun to see her in action!  She comes home with homework and I keep waiting for it to be challenging for her.  I'm sure it'll come, just not for now! And I don't know how teachers do it!  There are a few kids in her class that drive me NUTS every time I'm in there!  So kudos to you teachers for sticking with it!  I very much appreciate you.

We are through our first trimester of our "4th pregnancy", we're through the transition of starting a new temporary life in Greensburg (although, since it's temporary, we are not going to fully adjust). Not that it's any easier saying goodbye to Tyler every time, but now we can start counting down seasons, months, weeks, days whatever to help it pass faster. It's starting to cool down outside and we are settling into a new routine. I also have a put a plug in for my rockstar kids. They have been quite the troopers with this rough transition, and can make the 4 hour drive without having to stop! And without crying! We have been able to see Tyler more than we originally thought. I'm sure that will change soon, but it's made it easier to adjust being able to see him almost every weekend!

Tyler just started his second to last rotation this week in West Virginia.  He is working at a VA hospital and is living with an older man who works there too.  I don't know much more than that yet.  His second board exam is coming up in a few weeks, and I'm not worried at all, since he passed his first one on top of 3 weeks of sleep deprivation from having a newborn in the house. :)  He amazes me.  He puts the work in and it definitely pays off!
  
Emerie is LOVING being the older sister at home while Lyndi is at school.  She is starting to write hew name and still very very much loves anything princess. She gets dressed in the morning with Lyndi and then around 10 am she changes into a dress haha. She has started winking at everyone.  It scrunches up her whole face and is quite cute.  She is our theatrical child.  VERY upset when she's upset, VERY happy when she's happy, VERY mad when she's mad.  But because of that, she's VERY snuggly when she wants to be and VERY helpful when she wants to be.

Levi is going to be walking soon!  Lyndi will probably always hold the record (9 months, 2 days), but he's going to give her a run for her money!  He stands on his own (if it's his idea, if WE try to make him stand, he immediately wants to sit down) for bits of time and travels down furniture like it's nobody's business!  His little personality is so sweet. He grins constantly and is starting to hide or run away from people when he doesn't want them to get him.  He has 2 little bottom teeth, which came through about a month ago, which put him 6 months ahead of the girls' schedule haha.  This kid can pack in food!  He is a bottomless pit, and eats almost everything I put in front of him.  Hence his rather large size.  He is 25 lbs. at 8.5 months. My arms are getting some serious muscle :)

I have been able to do a lot of projects the last few months that I haven't been able to do for the last few years.  I'm helping my mom make 6 giant demin quilts, we're about halfway through.  I made 4 rag rugs out of the leftover material my mom and I had.  I finally re-printed my cookbook, am working on re-printing Joy School stuff and printed pictures so I'm caught up to 2013.  I am going to work on my T-shirt quilts next.  My mom has a pretty kick-butt quilting frame that a guy from church designed for her, so I'm going to take advantage while I can!

My mom and I take turns cooking, which has been AMAZING.  To say the least.  I am not a fan of cooking every night.  I love to cook, but have increasingly less time and desire to spend lots of time in the kitchen.  We trade off weeks, and it's nice to have my mom's home cooking again!  Lyndi told me that she cooks a lot better than I do haha.  I'm not even offended, because it's true.

I was going to add pictures in here, but my computer is on its last leg and it takes FOREVER to load even one, so I'll have to do them another time.

Our 4th pregnancy

Well, summer is just about over and so is our time in Philly! I still cannot believe it.  We have lived here for THREE years!  It has FLOWN! I guess that's what happens when you're having fun :)

In comparison with last summer, we had a sort of boring one this year!  Haha, last year Lyndi and I spent a lot of time outside playing in our blowup pool while Emerie was napping, we went to playgroup every week, went to the beach several times, had lots of barbecues and were a lot more tan!

This summer we... packed haha.  Well, I spent a good amount of time sorting, organizing and most importantly throwing things out!! It feels SO GOOD to get rid of all the stuff we've collected just in the time we've been here.  Thanks to Tyler being EQ President and helping out with so many moves, we've "inherited" a lot of things!  All of our possessions fit into a 15' truck.  Also, we found out just how picky the thrift stores are about taking used things.  I ended up breaking a lot of our chairs and furniture apart because they would not accept it.  Which was fun, I'll admit, I tried some ninja skills out on our furniture :)

Among other things we did this summer though, we went to the beach on one of Tyler's weekends off, had 2 barbecues with friends, went to see fireworks, lit off some of our own, and went to the kids museum. Haha, that's literally all I can think of! I suppose there was a drastic difference in my free time during the day this summer though :) Levi's a pretty cute little time consumer.

Haha, I caught him in the middle of a sneeze, and I still laugh out loud when I see it.

This kid is such a cute chunky monkey!  He finally fit into the swings at the park just in time for nice weather!  He ended up falling asleep in it several times :)

Miss Emerie and her camera faces... haha.  Lyndi's much more composed.

Look at those handsome baby blues :) ...and the pink jumper :)

Emerie has just begun to really take after her big sister.  It drives Lyndi crazy to have Emerie mimic her, but it's so adorable!

That one time I forgot to turn the faucet off for the tub... Good thing she's taller than the tub!  She wanted more baths with that much water haha.

Somebody has a girlfriend already :)

Lyndi was so upset about moving away from the neighbor girls!  There were 3 that lived above us that LOVED our kids!  The oldest one babysat Levi all the time and when they found out we were moving, she insisted on babysitting every day until we left haha. 

This describes Emerie's personality so perfectly... :)

Check out that handsome dude all ready for church!

My beach babes :)

My other beach babes :)

This belongs on a magazine cover or something, such a cutie!

Lyndi loves the Perez's son Josh.  They were best buds for a few weeks while he was here visiting. 

I really am going to miss the beach!

My world right there :)

 

He had just started to notice the food we were eating

Our own little fireworks show before bedtime

Tyler and I went to Gettysburg for the day and stopped at the Turkey Hill ice cream factory on the way home, lots of free ice cream samples!  Totally worth going without kids haha.

He laid there for almost 5 minutes with Cy on his face, I guess he felt the need to support Iowa State :)

I woke up one morning to this, he was awake just hanging out talking to himself with his feet dangling

Passed out after his bottle

Our summer harvest, sadly that's about all we got, but they were worth it!

Our street is SO noisy!  But apparently that's all it takes for him to nap, so that became my only sanity the last few weeks of getting ready to move.

Our ward had a Pioneer Day breakfast, and this is what the girls wore, and believe me, they did their hair like that back in the 1800's ;)

Kids Museum

 

Haha, as soon as we got to the museum, Lyndi grabbed Josh's hand and they ran around everywhere holding hands :)  After a while, Josh ran to his dad and said "Dad, she's wearing me out!"  Haha, get used to it kid ;)

Goodbye Philly!

Our last minute at the house

This kid is now sitting up and borderline crawling! 

He rolls over when he's drinking his bottle and gets so upset that his milk doesn't come out

Kindergarten starts in 2 weeks!  So crazy!

We're not in Philly Kansas anymore :)  Steeler territory here we come!

First time eating solids :)  I have never waited this long to feed solids, but he has been amazing at it and seriously eats a ton!

One thing I miss about Philly, THE PARKS.  They are everywhere and are all amazing!  Greensburg needs to work on that :) 

See that swing back!?  Why would you put a chain on the back?  So safe and so comfortable... :(

Plowing through our days without daddy.

Sporting Phillies

Emerie has JUST taken a liking to Levi. Not that she didn't like him before now, but she's now old enough to play with him and pay attention to him.

The 20 year old couch saw it's last day!  Man, was that a solid piece of furniture, I will be buying our future furniture from them!

Scary or cute?  Haha. The weird things we find in Aunt Alyssa's stuff :)

This post is all over the place I'm realizing now... after re-reading it.  I don't care.  My brain has been all over the place for months now, and it's probably not going to get better until Tyler's done with school in may!

We recently moved in with my parents in Greensburg, PA (by Pittsburgh for those of you who are wondering where that is) for the duration of Tyler's LAST school year (I still can't believe I'm saying that!).  This is sort of stressful on everyone in some ways, and much less stressful in others. However, I made a countdown on my phone, and it just happens to be 40 weeks!  So this is considered our 4th pregnancy. Haha, GOTCHA with that blog title eh?!?  The first trimester no doubt will be full of sickness (physical and emotional) from Tyler being gone, the 2nd trimester will be long but probably a bit more comfortable once we get settled in, and the 3rd trimester, during which we will not see Tyler while he's in Montana, will be the longest and most painful.  All just like a regular pregnancy ;)  But after it's all over, we will get to take home a degree! 39 weeks exactly from today folks!